Why Narcissists withhold sex

Narcissists withhold sex for a variety of reasons, all of which stem from their underlying need for control and power. Here are some of the most common reasons:

To maintain control: Narcissists crave a sense of control over their surroundings and the people in their lives. Withholding sex is a powerful tool for maintaining this control. By denying their partner intimacy, they can make their partner feel insecure, dependent, and uncertain. This can make their partner more likely to comply with the narcissist’s demands and less likely to question or challenge them.

To punish or devalue their partner: Narcissists often use sex as a weapon to punish their partners for perceived slights or transgressions. They may withhold sex after a disagreement, criticism, or even simply for no apparent reason at all. This withholding serves to devalue their partner and make them feel inferior.

To manipulate their partner’s behavior: Narcissists may also withhold sex to manipulate their partner’s behavior. They may promise sex in exchange for something they want, such as a favor, a compliment, or a change in their partner’s behavior. This type of manipulation can be very effective in controlling their partner’s actions and decisions.

To increase their own self-esteem: Narcissists often have fragile egos and are constantly seeking validation from others. Withholding sex can actually boost their own sense of power and importance. They may see it as a sign of their desirability and attractiveness, which can inflate their already inflated egos.

To create a cycle of uncertainty: Narcissists often engage in a pattern of withholding sex, followed by periods of increased affection and intimacy. This creates a cycle of uncertainty in which their partner is constantly chasing after their approval and attention. This cycle can be very damaging to their partner’s self-esteem and emotional well-being.

It is important to remember that withholding sex is a form of emotional abuse. If you are in a relationship with someone who is withholding sex from you, it is important to seek help from a therapist or counselor. You deserve to be in a healthy and fulfilling relationship where your needs are respected.